Back to Life

I moved into my first apartment on Sunday. It's so nice to finally have my own space where I can have people over. I'm also just a few apartments down from Jimmy which is really nice. Today we went to look for jobs which was an interesting experience. Jimmy applied from Christian Brothers Automotive and it looks really promising so Lord willing it will work out! After he put in his application we spent the next few hours applying to different restaurants. Some places seemed more promising than others but I left feeling rather discouraged after the fourth place told me that they would give me a call if they were interested. Though it wasn't a definite no, I've worked in the restaurant business long enough to know that if they don't say yes immediately, the chances of getting a call later are slim. In the midst of all of this God reminded me of two things:
1) It's such a blessing that I got the job at Red Robin as quickly as I did when I was 16. It's now so obvious that the Lord wanted me there for a reason. He wanted me there so I could witness to my coworkers and build those relationships.
2) Though He didn't give me what I wanted to day, He will give me what I need when I need it. He is so good so I am going to continue to praise Him for His faithfulness. A good friend of mine once said, "Testimony is the seed of prophecy." This has become one of my new mottos. What God has done once, He can definitely do again. Lord, I can't wait to see what You do!

Almost Done

Reality is slowly setting in that things are almost finished here at Student Life. We said goodbye to Seleina Shurake, our LDP from Kenya, today. Inventory is almost done for each department. Each of us are slowly starting to say goodbye. I'm usually not sentimental about stuff like this, but leaving this amazing group of people is really going to be difficult. It's amazing how close you can get to a group of people in only 2 1/2 months. We've laughed and cried together. We've carried each other through struggles and rejoiced as victories have been won. Sometimes it gets lonely being devoted Christian and it's easy to start thinking that you're the only one following the Lord...but being on this team has blown my mind. I have been so blessed to be in close community with 23 people who are passionate about Christ and furthing the Kingdom. Thank You Lord for this opportunity. This really has been the best summer of my life thus far!

Last Week of Camp

So here we are. It's finally the last week of camp. This summer has flown by! I'm really sad that this is the last week I'll be able to work for Student Life but I am so excited to see my family, friends, and boyfriend as I go back to regular life. This week is going to be a little bit different because instead of being a mission site coordinator, I am going to be a rec leader for the Blue Crew! I can't wait to see what God does this week!

I Don't Have to See

Today for my devo with my mission squad I shared my testimony about how the Lord changed my life by revealing to me the greatness of His power. Though I had always been a "pretty good" Christian girl, I was still completely fallen and when I was about 14 it finally began to show as I gave into an eating disorder. This sin slowly destroyed me physically and mentally for about 2 years until one day when the Lord said to me, "Sam, the same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead lives in you. You can say no to this sin." That was a pivotal point in my life. From that moment on I have been living with a different perspective and a new will to live for the Lord because I know with all of my heart that Christ conquered my sin a long long time ago.

It was pretty neat how God worked today. Later during worship a youth minister came up to me and asked me if I would be willing to share a little bit more about my struggles with the girls in his youth group. Of course I said yes. Honestly, I had been waiting for an opportunity like this all summer long. I prayed and prayed that the Lord would direct my thoughts and my words as I addressed these girls. Any words that came from my finite wisdom would not be powerful enough to break through to their closed hearts.

Finally the time came for me to share with the girls. I got up in front of them all and started sharing what the Lord had put on my heart. Honestly, even though I had prayed and thought alot about what I would say I felt rather scatterbrained. Nevertheless, I said what the Lord put on my heart and in my mouth. None of the girls responded immediately so I finished by praying for them and letting them split up into their individual groups.

As I climbed into the back of our pickup truck for a ride back to our dorms the first thought that popped into my head was, "Wow, that probably didn't make any sense. I wonder if any of them got anything." But that thought was immediately followed with a familiar peace because I know that the Lord often works in ways that I don't ever get to see. I planted seeds and spread out the truth before them. I have no power, however, over how deep the roots go or if they even break through the top layer of soil. That's all the Lord's job.

I love my job here at Student Life so much. Most of my job consists of sowing seeds that I will never get to see grow. I rarely see any fruit, but Lord keeps reassuring me that He is doing great and amazing things. He is not bound by contract to let me see His working. I trust Him because He is THE loving God. So no matter how much I would love to know what He is doing in these kids and adults lives, I don't have to see.

Liberty Load In

We're at Liberty University right now for our 8th camp of the summer. This week is going to be our biggest camp with 2000 students total attending. I'm super excited for mission camp because we are supposed to have around 800 kids participating which is double our usual number! We'll have four missions teams instead of three in order to hopefully handle all the kids better.

One challenge for this week will be taking the time to invest in people on a personal level. It's so easy to get caught up with the legistics of things. Espeically in a busy week, we tend to focus on simply making it through the day instead of opening our eyes to the ways that God is working in the kids lives. Last week the Lord allowed me to invest in several people and really get to know them. I loved it! Lord, open my eyes to see where You are moving so that I may join You there!

My Love

Chained in darkness

No hint of light

Cold and empty

NO hope of flight

Impoverish soul

Guilt over my head

No way back

To where You live

As my heart

Bursts with despair

I hear a knock

And unaware

Slowly I crawl

Without a clue

That at the door

I would see You

Your eyes, they burn

A hole in me

No hatred found

No blow received

But instead love

Though undeserved

Is all You bring

Crazy and pure

You life my chin

And take my hand

With shaking knees

I slowly stand

In Your arms

I fall, collapse

All this time

You’re what I lacked

You softly whisper

“We’re going home”

But how? My chains

Are not undone

The price my lovers

Ask is high

Surely this is

Where I’ll die

“The price is paid

Because I died

The blood I gave

Was for your life

Now see your chains

Not touching you

Come with Me

And be made new

“Come be my wife

Faithful be

As I love you

Cherish Me

Go no longer

To lovers of old

With Me you’ll stay

My love you’ll know”

Now here I am

Finally clean

Surrounded by light

Completely free

Thankful, yes.

Deserving, no.

To my Love

All I owe

He entered in

My brothel dark

And gave His life

For my lustful heart

He brought me home

And made me new

My Faithful Love

My love is true.

(June 8,2011)

First Love

There’s a longing inside of my heart

For a love that is all-consuming

That inspires each breath that I breathe

And determines who I want to be

Each moment to be purposed around

What the love my life desires

A love that never grows cold

But blazes in my like a fire

This longing I feel is not wrong

In fact it’s an inherent part

Of how You designed me to be

It’s the way You fashioned my heart

But this love is found in One only

Others simply mimic Your ways

When consumed by my First Love, my God

Satisfaction finally remains

You alone are my First Love, oh God

No one can stand in Your place

 My Groom, my eyes are fixed upon You

Your presence makes my heart race

Though one day someone will enter my life

Your in place in my eyes will not move

Because You are and will be the First Love

            of my life

My Lord, my passion is You

(Oct. 2010)