I Don't Have to See

Today for my devo with my mission squad I shared my testimony about how the Lord changed my life by revealing to me the greatness of His power. Though I had always been a "pretty good" Christian girl, I was still completely fallen and when I was about 14 it finally began to show as I gave into an eating disorder. This sin slowly destroyed me physically and mentally for about 2 years until one day when the Lord said to me, "Sam, the same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead lives in you. You can say no to this sin." That was a pivotal point in my life. From that moment on I have been living with a different perspective and a new will to live for the Lord because I know with all of my heart that Christ conquered my sin a long long time ago.

It was pretty neat how God worked today. Later during worship a youth minister came up to me and asked me if I would be willing to share a little bit more about my struggles with the girls in his youth group. Of course I said yes. Honestly, I had been waiting for an opportunity like this all summer long. I prayed and prayed that the Lord would direct my thoughts and my words as I addressed these girls. Any words that came from my finite wisdom would not be powerful enough to break through to their closed hearts.

Finally the time came for me to share with the girls. I got up in front of them all and started sharing what the Lord had put on my heart. Honestly, even though I had prayed and thought alot about what I would say I felt rather scatterbrained. Nevertheless, I said what the Lord put on my heart and in my mouth. None of the girls responded immediately so I finished by praying for them and letting them split up into their individual groups.

As I climbed into the back of our pickup truck for a ride back to our dorms the first thought that popped into my head was, "Wow, that probably didn't make any sense. I wonder if any of them got anything." But that thought was immediately followed with a familiar peace because I know that the Lord often works in ways that I don't ever get to see. I planted seeds and spread out the truth before them. I have no power, however, over how deep the roots go or if they even break through the top layer of soil. That's all the Lord's job.

I love my job here at Student Life so much. Most of my job consists of sowing seeds that I will never get to see grow. I rarely see any fruit, but Lord keeps reassuring me that He is doing great and amazing things. He is not bound by contract to let me see His working. I trust Him because He is THE loving God. So no matter how much I would love to know what He is doing in these kids and adults lives, I don't have to see.